S.T.R.E.P.

I am 26 years old. And in 26 years I have never, not once had strep throat. All through my school years my friends would get strep throat, they would get to stay home and watch movies and most importantly not have to come to school.

Every single time I had any sort of sore/dry/scratchy throat I insisted my mom bring me to the doctor to have that awful long q-tip scraped mercilessly across the back of my throat, all while I tried not to hurl and gag at the doctor.

They would rub my throat slime on the round red cup and shortly thereafter I would hear: “It looks like you do not have strep, we will wait for the 24 hour culture but for now just rest and drink plenty of fluids.”

UMMM what?! Ok there is a sliver of hope that I still could get yummy pink goop and stack up all my favorite princess movies. But NEVER, NOT ONCE did that culture ever reveal strep.

And for some reason I was always so angry and jealous that I didn’t get strep. I could lick all the stuff my streppy friends touched and still…nothing. I was immune or something.

And now…at 26 years old I am SO FREAKIN’ GLAD I never had to suffer the STREP

Until now

Here is how it played out:

Thursday I had a sort of scratchy feeling throat, NBD

Friday I woke up and my throat felt like this:

And my ears felt like this.

Luckily there is this thing called the internet where you can go to this website and answer some questions and some nurse somewhere will send you a prescription to WHEREVER you choose. And while I *was* gifted with the pink goo…it did not nearly make up for the 48+ hours of strep suffering I went through

I now would like to apologize to every person I ever felt jealous of while for having strep.

SORRY SORRY SORRY

The end

Oh…p.s.

Strep: you are NOT welcome in my throat EVER again…remember the last 26 years? how nice it was without each other? let us do that again, times three.

I am now conviced STREP is an acronym for Serious Throat Rediculously Excruciating Pain